It’s that time of year again already. You’re going to the Christmas party. There’s a gift exchange, and you want to leave your mark on the other guests. What better way than to pick the most outrageous, worthless gift available? Something so goofy, inappropriate, or worthless that the recipient could never hope to make use of it? We’ve got you covered. Below we’ve curated a mix of gag gifts ranging from outright worthless to “someone could use this, but we’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.” Take your pick and get ready to be King or Queen of your Christmas party dirty Santa gifts exchange.
Dirty Santa Gifts
Circular Saw Pizza Wheel
Trying to strike that balance between functional and “who asked for this?” Look no further! This pizza cutter looks just like a handsaw, but it is, in fact, a pizza cutter. I know, hard to tell looking at it, but just trust me on this one. Jokes aside, this silly trinket would be a great Dirty Santa gift if someone at the party tends to use these kinds of tools (think carpenter, craftsman, etc). It’s sure to rouse some laughter on the silliness aspect, either way, so don’t hesitate to throw it in your Dirty Santa gift pool.
Shower Coffee Cup Holder
Speed up that morning routine with this handy cup holder for your shower. Come on. We’ve all been there. Enjoying a steamy shower when all of the sudden, we crave a hot cup of morning coffee. Right? Okay, none of us have been there, but that’s what makes this great for a gift exchange. This would be especially good for a Dirty Santa if someone at the party is known to take lengthy showers, or really for anyone you want to hand a goofy gift for a chuckle from the crowd. It’s silly and fairly harmless, so think about grabbing one for the party.
Morph Digital Ugly Christmas Sweater
What better Dirty Santa gifts than something as full of Christmas spirit as it is regret and disdain? This delightfully tacky sweater is a perfect fit. Has anyone in the past century actually bought an ugly Christmas sweater because they liked it? I bet you can’t think of one. These bad boys are generally reserved for the ugly Christmas sweater contests. Everyone is sure to get a laugh once they realize the poor recipient is expected to put their phone inside the thing to get the full, ugly experience.
Green Egg Bathroom Soap Dispenser
Have you ever looked at your grill and thought “man, I wish that thing could dispense some soap?” No? Well don’t worry, someone made that product anyway! This soap dispenser is themed after a popular brand of the grill, so if you happen to have a green egg fanatic in the group, this soap dispenser would make for a fantastic Dirty Santa gift. If no one at the party knows what a green egg grill is, well, it would be plain silly to give someone a soap dispenser for a gift without the right context, so maybe it would work for a cheap laugh anyway.
Dual Function Hydration Bottle
Here’s a cool idea: sticking expensive electronics into a water bottle. Kidding, don’t do that. This water bottle is a little confusing on the surface, but it actually does serve a purpose. The whole idea is that you can hide (or, at least, place) valuables inside the water bottle so you don’t lose them while doing whatever it is you need a water bottle for. You might have noticed that it doesn’t leave much room for water, though. Is this a water bottle or a wallet bottle? I’m not even sure at this point, but hopefully, that confusion can get the party laughing at your dirty Santa gift exchange.
Terrorize the youngsters this holiday season with this terrifying stuffed goat! Nothing says “holiday joy” like a goat with… fangs, right? Okay, this zany toy is bound to get a terrifying laugh at the Christmas party. Just promise you won’t go giving it to kids, please– early-onset goat trauma is a terrible Christmas gift in most cultures. Anyway, about the goat: this would make a great gift for pretty much anyone just on the silliness factor alone. Bonus points if you remove the retail packaging first so they discover its terrifying secret on their own.
Sushi Socks Box
Bet you never thought you’d see those two words together. This charming kit of socks comes packaged like a pack of sushi, a real confusing treat for anyone at the Christmas party. Having said that, these socks would be great dirty Santa gifts for a group of people that don’t like sushi in particular. If they do like sushi? This is just a plain good gift, really. Quirky socks are pretty trendy these days and the gift package is outright pleasant if you’re into that kind of thing. At the end of the day, the party goers will probably get a kick out of it, and someone at the party scores some cool socks. Sounds like a good bet for everyone if you’re after a lighthearted dirty Santa gift.
Zen Garden Litter Box
Why should cats get to have all the fun? Doing their business in a pile of rocks like a bunch of champions while humans hit the can. Let someone at the Christmas party take control of their wild side and harness the absolute tranquility of a litter box for themselves. Jokes aside, this little litter box would be an adorable Dirty Santa gift– emphasis on the dirty part– if there are any cat lovers at your Christmas party. It’s a funny little knickknack that’s absurd enough to get some laughs, so grab one for your dirty Santa gift exchange today.
Libbey Classic Can Tumbler
For some particularly lighthearted but resoundingly “why?” dirty Santa gifts, these can glass should do the trick. To be clear, they work just fine like any other glass, but they look like cans instead. They’re a little quirky and plenty of people would like them as an addition to their dish sets. Having said that, imagine eagerly opening a gift on Christmas day and you pull out… glasses. Shaped like cans. These glasses may not be fundamentally goofy, but as far as Christmas gifts go, they certainly aren’t the first thing to come to mind, so the aforementioned “why?” aspect makes them worth considering for a dirty gift exchange.
Marley’s Monsters Toilet UNpaper Roll
Alright, time to get a little gross. Have you ever tossed that toilet paper down the drain only to stop and think “Shoot! I could have saved that for later?” Hopefully not, but someone made a product for that! The concept is respectable, honestly– save on paper waste and reuse your rags instead. The downside is, you know, hanging onto that waste. And putting it into your washing machine. Kind of nasty. Who wants to receive the gift of prolonged toilet waste? Having said that, this unpaper does serve a purpose, and the eco-minded people at your party may genuinely appreciate it, so these bad boys would make great Dirty Santa gifts– again, emphasis on dirty– if you’re not with a particularly economically concerned bunch.
Burger Buddy Sandwich Holders
In the theme of things nobody asked for: burger holders. Now, in all fairness, some people might want a sleeve for their burgers. Plenty of restaurants out there sell their burgers that way, in fact, so this is sort of a long-term, reusable solution for people who want that. As for the average person? The person who just picks up a burger and eats it? This thing is gonna look pretty wacky at first sight. Either way, the “why” factor makes this worth considering for your Dirty Santa gifts. You have to admit, whether you like the product or not, “Merry Christmas! Here’s a burger holder” is gonna sound funny on Christmas day.
Puzzle Pod Cryptex
If you want to give them a good gift but still wanna keep it a bit cruel for the Dirty Santa theme, this puzzle pod is exactly what you’re looking for. Sure, you can put something in there they actually want, but they’re still gonna get a laugh when they open it up and realize they’re now subject to whatever in the world you made the combination. You get to choose the word, too, so you can throw in your own personal touch and make it even funnier for your Dirty Santa gift exchange!
Beer Belly Waist Packs
As if fanny packs aren’t already the laughing stock as is, take it a step further with this gross, completely-pointlessly designed belly pack. Terribly sorry if you were eating before clicking on this one, but what an outright unappealing gift! This vile fanny pack is sure to get the crowd cackling at its absurdity and general ugliness. What more is there to say? This thing is perfect for a Dirty Santa gift! Nobody wants this. You can bet people will be doing all they can to trade away from it once it rears its ugly head, so be on the bad side of the gift exchange and grab this belly today.
Edible Anus Milk Belgian Chocolate
I mean… who doesn’t like chocolate? As utterly repulsive and inappropriate as these chocolates are, chocolate is chocolate! But let’s be honest: that’s not the point. If you want that crown for the crappiest gift at the Christmas party, this is it. This gift goes well beyond the range of risqué, though, so understand that you’re totally at risk of offending some people. Having said that, in the context of a Dirty Santa gift, that’s all the more reason to buy it! These chocolates would be great for anyone who’s willing to forgive you. You’re bound to hear some laughs mixed in with the cries of horror when these delicacies are unveiled, so give them a shot at your Christmas party.
Masturbation for People of All Genders and Abilities
If you thought those chocolates were inappropriate, just wait until someone opens this thing at the Christmas party. If you, for some reason, happen to know a fellow who just can’t seem to get the technique down? Oh, who am I kidding– no one needs this. The shock value is phenomenal, though, so this instructional guide would make a great dirty Santa gift if you really want to ignore the lines of social boundaries as flippantly as possible. This would make a great gift idea for anyone who’s decent, really. Most folks would rather not air this kind of thing out, so if you want to shock the party, look no further than this book.
Snail Full Face Mask
Well, if you’re in the market for stuff that your average Joe could never possibly need, it doesn’t get much better than this! That’s exactly what makes this a great Dirty Santa gift, though: no one dreams of getting a snail mask (or, at least, no one at your Christmas party. Hopefully. You might want to look into that). Everyone at the Christmas party is sure to have a laugh when someone gets stuck with this goofy snail mask, so grab one while they’re in stock and be the star of your Dirty Santa party.
Cat Butt Tissue Holder
This delightfully obscene trinket is sure to cause a fuss at your Dirty Santa exchange (in a good way). This would make a great gift for a crowd of people that aren’t opposed to gifts a bit more on the questionable side. And hey, they can’t complain too much, because it does serve a purpose! Whether they actually use it or not, though, it’s a solid novelty gift. Most people don’t reach for a cat’s rear end in hopes of retrieving a tissue, so it earns its spot on this dirty Santa gifts list.
Lavender Scented Funny Candles
One of the most ironic gifts you could hope to find, this funny candle is a perfect fit for the snide, the cynical, and the pessimistic people in your dirty Santa party group. This candle’s lavender scent isn’t even remotely appropriate for the crude label on its face, a contrast that makes it all the more fun. Much like the cat tissue holder, this gift does kind of serve a purpose, but it’s still a silly gift. A bit scandalous, but when it comes to dirty Santa gifts, that just gives you all the more reason to pick this candle up.
Things To Do While You Poo
For the grosser side of the gift exchange, this activity book for things to do on the loo is bound to get a bit taboo. This isn’t the kind of thing you really air out in the public sphere, but it’s also not exactly practical. Sounds like a perfect mix for some Dirty Santa gifts, right? You’re sure to get the party laughing when someone unwraps this novelty book. In theory, it’s the perfect gift for anyone! Everyone does it, after all. Just make sure they don’t try to share this wacky gift. Pick one up for your Dirty Santa gifts and have a laugh together.
It really doesn’t get more useless than this. As if the concept wasn’t silly enough, the fact that any attempt to practically apply this product would result in a soggy pair of underpants makes it the perfect gag gift. If you’re hoping to be a bit offensive this holiday season, this gift would be perfect for an older member of the family especially! These classic tighty whities are sure to rouse a laugh from the party no matter who gets them though, so don’t hesitate to grab some for your Dirty Santa gift exchange.
World’s Smallest Vacuum
No matter who ends up with this gift, there’s one thing you can be sure of: this little vacuum sucks (get it?). Although this bad boy falls under the “technically practical” category, it’s silly enough to have its place in your Dirty Santa gifts. This would be an especially good gag if you have any germaphobes or general clean freaks attending your Christmas party, but who knows? They might actually end up using the thing. Either way, it’s not a bad idea to grab one of these for your Dirty Santa gift exchange for the amusement factor alone.
Black Spider Web Wooden Coasters
Not everyone’s a fan of spiders, and that is exactly what makes these good Dirty Santa gifts. Could you imagine nabbing something like this for someone at the Christmas party who hates spiders? Well, okay, maybe that’s a little mean for Christmas, but you get the point. These coasters may be fundamentally functional, but you also could not possibly choose something more comically out of season. I mean, this gift makes about as much sense on Christmas as a snow cone machine would make sense for a mid-winter holiday like Christmas! Grab some today and get some laughs at your dirty Santa gift exchange.
Novelty Pool Noodles
Speaking of comically out of season gifts: a pool noodle! On Christmas! It’s hard to imagine anyone at your Christmas party getting any use out of this thing for at least another 5 months after Christmas, and even then, its use case is dubious at best. Unless you’ve got a dentist or a dental-hygiene enthusiast of some sort at your Christmas party, this isn’t likely to be a highly sought-after gift. It’s a pool noodle that looks like a toothbrush. It’s pretty goofy for most people though, so it would be a good bet for your Dirty Santa gifts.
Okay, this one might be a little on the practical side. Beef jerky may be delicious, but the bait-and-switch appeal of this gift is priceless. No one’s going to pick up the tie-shaped box, unwrap it, and expect beef jerky. That’s about as random as it gets. It could be an especially cruel joke if you have a vegan at your Christmas party, but we’re not responsible for any harm which may come from that. In any case, whoever gets it, they’re in for a surprise and probably a decent chuckle with the party before they dig in.
Kwirkworks Shot Glass Holder
This zany item would be perfect for some people, and completely inappropriate for many others. It would be great in a pool of Dirty Santa gifts exactly for that reason: whether it’s a fun knickknack or an offensive suggestion depends on which lucky party-goer gets it. Frankly, this one may be pushing the holiday spirit a bit, but so long as your party knows how to take a joke, this gift could be hilarious or practical at your Christmas party. It probably wouldn’t hurt to throw it in the gift pile either way (hopefully), so consider picking one up today.
Ornament Glass Ball
Alright, this is the one. If you’re after a crude funny gift, this is it. You might have noticed this ornament looks suspiciously similar to a certain popular news topic these days! In all seriousness, though, this is another one of those “treads with caution” Dirty Santa gifts. Incredibly crude and offensive to many people out there, it’s also the kind of thing that will draw many laughs from those who weren’t so personally affected by the matter. Just know who you’re getting the gift for and these ornaments will make great for a Dirty Santa party.
Weird Things Humans Search
Bring a new level of community fun to the Christmas party with this quirky group game! To be honest, this one’s outright practical as a game, but it’s also zany enough to have some fun. It could be a lot of fun for the internet enthusiasts at your Christmas party, but it still fits the Dirty Santa theme in that no one goes out of their way to buy a party game about google searches. In other words, no one expects this, and it’s sure to give people plenty of laughs at your Christmas party.
Looking for something semi-taboo but still presentable at a party? Well, here you go, apparently! Hopefully, these are impractical enough to stay strictly a goofy gag gift, but unfortunately, you probably know someone who could use a pack or three of these wipes. With any luck, they’ll be the lucky recipient from the Dirty Santa gifts rotation and hilarity will ensue. Actually, let’s be honest: these will rouse a laugh no matter who lands them. They strike a lovely balance between socially acceptable and moderately indecent, the perfect blend for your Dirty Santa game.
Tiny Mobile Phone Lampshade
This is definitely the kind of gift that would make you ask “why?” Does it serve any practical functionality? For most people, no, and that makes it great for a Dirty Santa. So long as it’s useless to them, the concept alone will probably draw some laughs from the party. Be careful who you give it to, though, because it may or may not actually prove useful, and that simply won’t do for a Dirty Santa gift. What may seem like a silly knickknack to you may be a handy trinket to someone else, and it must serve some purpose considering how many people have bought it.