25 Funny Retirement Gifts for Men To Start A New Retired Life
Retirement is a milestone well worth celebrating. A lifetime of work deserves a retirement of leisure and fun with friends, family and the greatest gifts the internet has to offer. Finding the perfect retirement gifts for men shouldn’t be a job in itself, though; That’s why we’ve compiled in this list an assortment of unique, memorable, high-quality gifts that will make your man’s retirement an endless vacation.
Best Retirement Gifts for Men
Reef Men's Mulligan II Flip Flop
For many men, retirement goes hand in hand with long afternoons on the putting green. With the right gift, you can ensure that your loved one rolls up to the course in style. The Golf Flip Flop is the ultimate footwear for lounging underneath the warm sun and cracking open a cold one with the boys, thanks in part to its built-in bottle opener and partially due to its comfortable foot-friendly construction. Retirement is about having fun and relaxing, and perhaps no gift captures that vibe more completely than the Golf Flip Flop.
Funky Veg KIT Gift Box
Gardening is a fantastic hobby for the man embarking upon the golden years of retirement. Your loved one is important to you though, and deserves a garden worthy of his colorful, unconventional approach to life. The Funky Veg Kit has you covered. With this gift, your man can grow vegetables as they’ve never grown before: purple carrots, striped tomatoes, and an assortment of other unusual veggies that taste as good as they look. All seeds have been tested for quality and taste, so feel good knowing that these incredible seeds will sprout into the tastiest, most original salad your home has ever known.
Wing Chun Stainless Ring
Though your man may no longer be heading into the office, his retirement shouldn’t mark the retirement of his mind or his muscles. The Wing Chun Ring is a simple to use strength-training tool that can keep a man feeling his best throughout his later years. With an origin in Chinese Martial Arts, the Wing Chun Ring has a history of building discipline and strength for men throughout the ages – needless to say, your man should have no trouble making use of this versatile gift. Stainless steel construction ensures a ring that is light enough to maneuver, but durable enough to maintain its shape even after years of use, meaning your recently-retired can enjoy its benefits for decades to come.
Pen Fishing Rod Reel Combo Set
Fishing is a staple of retired life, but packing up the car for a trip to the river can be a hassle for even a spry young man. Retirement should be about taking it easy, and the gift Pen Fishing Set makes preparing for a day on the water simpler than ever before. The rod included in this portable set collapses to a mere 8 inches, making it as easy to carry as any pen, but remains strong and durable due to its glass steel fiber build; the reel’s copper axis ensures smooth fishing all day, every day. Together, the Pen Fishing Set will have your man ready to tackle the biggest game without the hassle of the traditional fishing rod.
Cigar Lighter Torch
Sitting on the porch, smoking cigars, recalling days past with friends and family should never be a stressful environment. With a Cigar Lighter like this one on hand, a little bad weather won’t stand between your retiree and his favorite brand. Best of all, a refillable butane chamber means that the Cigar Lighter is the last your man will ever need. Make your loved one’s retirement a tropical vacation with a gift hotter than fire – get him a Cigar Lighter as strong as he is.
Allocacoc Versatile Portable FlashLight
A flashlight is one of those useful tools that always seems to go missing just when you need it most. Now that your loved one is retired, you want to know that he will be safe and sound during all his free time, so now more than ever he needs a flashlight he can count on. The Versatile Flashlight is a great flashlight not just because of its bright beam, but because of its functionality even when no flashlight is needed. This gift ensures that your retired man always knows where to find a flashlight because it’s also the desk lamp and reading light that he uses night after night. With a Versatile Flashlight, he will never fumble in the dark for a flashlight again.
Trusco ST-350-B 2-Level Toolbox
Is your favorite guy planning to use his retirement to finish all the projects he put off for so long? If so, then he might need a gift built to organize all of his most important tools. Store nuts and bolts, washers, hooks, and every tool he could ever need in the sleek, compact Trusco Toolbox. With a flashy blue surface and customizable interior slots, the Trusco Toolbox always looks as good on the inside as it does on the outside. They say it’s what’s on the inside that counts, but with this gift in hand, your man will have no qualms showing off his favorite handy toolbox in its entirety.
Airplane Whiskey Decanter Set
Smooth, silky whiskey, gorgeous decor, and memories of days long ago – does retirement get any better than that? The Airplane Decanter, modeled off the design of early airplanes, is an elegant serving vessel that reminds all of the beauty and simplicity of days past. Dark wood accent and unique shape provide the Airplane Decanter an air of luxury and wealth, making it a fantastic addition to a home bar, a study, or as a centerpiece upon the living room mantle. If your man is a fan of his whiskey or scotch, the Airplane Decanter is a gift above the rest.
Battery Organizer Storage Box
Throughout his retirement, your man will explore a variety of hobbies that he has long put off. While you may not be able to predict every interest he is going to test, you can be sure that he’s going to be relying upon a few basic staples. Batteries, for instance, are a necessity we rarely consider, but no hobby should ever be dropped because your man has run out of triple-As. With a fully-stocked Battery Organizer, you can be sure that whatever catches your loved one’s fancy, he’ll have the power he needs to see it through to the end.
Retirement Party Survival Hat
Retirement is made simple with the Retirement Survival Hat. Bottle opener? Check. Fishing bobber? Check. Golf tee? Check again! The retirement hat will prepare your loved one for their most pressing retirement emergencies. The hat will fit most adults comfortably and can become the highlight of any outfit. In particular, your retired pals with a love for the outdoors will appreciate the familiar bucket-hat design and the range of sporty accessories.
Novelty Retirement Sash for Men
There’s nothing like retirement to make you feel like a celebrity! Rather than actually becoming a celebrity, of course… But since you can’t make your loved one famous, why not give them the famous treatment with a “Retired!” sash? One size fits all with this colorful satin sash that is bound to leave your loved one feeling like the star they are! With this stylish sash, your friends will be able to let their whole neighborhood know about their retirement.
Funny Retirement Beer Sleeves
Nothing should get in the way of enjoying your retirement – not the demands of others and certainly not the bright sun warming up your ice-cold beer. These beer sleeves will let your loved ones get back to enjoying their retirement – and as this sleeve, so kindly reminds, not my problem anymore, an amusing message reminding those around them that retirement is not a time for stressing over the universe’s concerns. They can soak up the sun and watch the world go by, always with a cool, refreshing beer in hand. Know a go-getter with a passion for beer? Get them this funny gift that spills the tea.
The Legend Has Retired Whiskey Glass
The perfect complement to the retirement bucket list! This humorous whiskey glass reiterates that the only limitation to your retirement is your own imagination. It is equal parts heartfelt and hilarious. As much as your loved ones will appreciate the title of “Legend”, they’ll enjoy even more your commemoration of their retirement, a major life change that can require both planning and bravery. Show your support and respect for your newly-retired friends and family with a funny gag gift that they’ll reach for constantly throughout their retirement.
Retired Business Cards
Business cards are a valuable resource for advertising your services to others. But who needs to get called up by strangers once you’ve retired? Retired business cards remind the world that you are no longer open for business and that the problems of others are not your concern. Do you know someone tired of carrying the weight of the world? Help them send the message that the office is shut with retired business cards.
101 Places to Get F*cked Up Before You Die
Inspire your friends and family to make the most of their golden years with this comical bucket list. With 101 ideas for retirement, this book’s advice ranges from the usual to the downright outrageous. This retirement gift reminds us that the best is yet to come and that we all have the potential to grab life by the horns. “101 Fun Things to Do in Retirement” is sure to be a hit with any retiree looking for a laugh.
Tabletop Money Tree
And who said money doesn’t grow on trees? The money tree (or gift card tree, if you so desire) is an eye-catching centerpiece bound to liven up the visually unimpressive gift of cash. The tree’s branches are flexible enough for you to shape while remaining sturdy enough to support a serious chunk of change. Feeling generous? The Money Tree is the ideal tree-t!
Dumpster Fire Insulated Travel Mug
Retirement is also the perfect time to go traveling, so gift the men something practical with this handy travel bottle. This bottle is ideal when hiking, camping, or going on holiday and they’re sure to get plenty of use from it. Made out of high quality stainless steel, this nifty mug is easy to store or carry around, and the tremendous temperature retention means you can keep your coffee, ice tea or your favorite beverage fresher and longer than ever. There’s also a number of different colors and designs, so why not surprise the retirees by buying a set?
You're Too Close Baseball Hat
Let’s admit a truth: no-one likes watching games with creeps who stand really close in lines, for those men who enjoy watching a game of baseball in retirement life, this baseball cup makes for an excellent present. With an adjustable strap, it’s guaranteed to fit heads of all shapes and sizes, and the embroidered words on it is perfect for keeping social distance during those warm summer holidays. Whether you’re buying it for a close friend or a co-worker, it’s sure to be a home run. Consider pairing it with the retirement T-Shirt as a gift set.
Royal Robbins City Traveler Shirt
For those travelers out there, this men’s t-shrt is a great way to let them know that you ‘re thinking of them. Wrinkle resistant and moisture wicking, this short sleeve shirt is perfect for lounging the house, going out, vacation, or any other adventures. Made from 100% Polyester, it ensures a soft and comfortable fit. The material is breathable too, perfect for those long sunny retired days as they relax by the beach.
Stainless Steel Piggy Bank
Traveling and visiting new places is an ideal way to start retirement for men, so give them a helping hand with this practical travel fund piggy bank. This stylish tin is a perfect gift for saving up loose change and every little helps. Not only is it useful but it also looks elegant around the home. Whether your friends are saving up for a big vacation or just want to save a few extra pennies, it’s a great way to let them know that you’re really caring about them.
Funny Retirement Socks
Retired men like a sip of wine or two to wind down on the sofa, and this set of hilarious socks offers a perfect way to kick off that. As they kick up their feet, let your friends bask in the glory of their retirement. These “Hello Pension, Goodbye Tension” socks are a witty reminder of the joy of having time to relax. Additionally, retirees are bound to enjoy the reactions of family and friends when they catch a glimpse of these noteworthy socks. The socks are affordable and comfortable retirement gag gifts, so you really can’t go wrong picking up a pair.
Day of the Week Clock
Who needs to know the time once they’re retired? The Classic Day Clock can tell you everything you really need to know: Is there football tonight? Do I need to check the mail? Did I miss church? Your retired friends know that life shouldn’t be lived minute to minute and that time doesn’t need to be micromanaged to be enjoyed. With the Classic Day Clock, they can kick back a relax without concern for losing track of their weekly schedule.
People of Walmart Adult Coloring Book
Coloring books have seen a recent surge in popularity as a mindful, creative outlet, but few can represent the absolute strange and undignified realities of society as well as the People of Walmart coloring book. Amuse the retiring artist in your life with the retirement gag gift that places them in the middle of their own local store. It might not be the mental escape they were looking for, but how can they ever pull their eyes away from the colorful characters that line the aisles of Walmart?
Funny Men's Retirement T-shirt
When it comes to retirement gifts for men, you always can’t go wrong with a T-Shirt. This gift is perfect for lounging around in and is sure to get a laugh from people around you. Made out of lightweight and soft material, the shirt is guaranteed to fit comfortably. If grey isn’t quite his color the shirt also comes in blue, white or silver, and it’s great for proudly showing off while your friend is on vacation: “I’m retired, not my problem anymore!”
What You Don't Know About Retirement
The funny, tongue in cheek book “What You Don’t Know About Retirement” is a must-read book for new and old retirees alike. Your family and friends will love how relatable the silly questions contained within this quiz are. It’s a quick read that is bound to make for an afternoon of laughs. If you are looking for a simple, fun retirement idea for your new retiree, consider the colorful pages of “What You Don’t Know About Retirement”.
When a man retires, the occasion is one worth celebrating. However, finding the best retirement gifts for men who are approaching their big day is always not that easy. All the gifts for men above are unique, amusing items that appreciate the fun of retiring. Whether your retiree is a wild spirit or a gentle soul looking to sit back and relax, and whether it’s a friend or family member who’s retiring, or even just a fellow co-worker, help them start over a new leaf the right way with these funny retirement gifts. From hilarious t-shirts to piggy banks, you’re sure to find the right present to send them off in this collection.